Nobody Likes a Twatwaffle, aka, Be a Decent Person

That's right, even when you think nobody else is watching, you should ALWAYS strive to be a better person. Because lets face it; nobody likes a twat waffle. And if you don't know what said-twat waffle is, you PROBABLY shouldn't be reading my blog. 

 

Now, just to clarify a few things, we are going to start off with some pretty basic definitions that most of us learned before kindergarten.

 

Friendship:

noun

The state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person's friendship.

 

Friend:

noun

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.

3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: "Who goes there? Friend or foe?"

 

Twatwaffle:

 twatwaffle (twat-wah-full):

noun

1. An elitist; someone unaware of their own limitations and highly critical of others.

2. The idiot that gets on your last damn nerve. The person you know that suffers from excessive verbal diarrhea. The one you want to smack in the face with a pick-axe. The person who has done it all and done it better than you.

3. Complete idiot that mere idiot, dumbass, or imbecile can not adequately describe.; however, to earn the title of twatwaffle, one must also attempt to assert authority/expertise where none is had, or use power/authority when they are offended by things that most people find humorous, and then use that authority to get the "offenders," in trouble and the "offending material" removed. 

 

There are times in life when the definition gets muddied and isn't as black and white as maybe it should be. Then there are times in life when one 'friend' is more vested in said-friendship than their counterpart. An example, one party would walk through hell and high water for those that they consider a friend. The other party of this example friendship scenario isn't vested. And while they may say they are, when asked point-blank, they come up short.

 

So where does this leave the friend who has dedicated literally YEARS to this friendship? Do they walk away whilst wiping the egg from their face? Do they confront the other party? After all, they may feel as though they deserve an explanation. The answer is this; you hold your head high and your shoulders back and while you might want to buckle from the weight of this defining moment, you don't. Because you're better than that.

 

"But what makes me better than telling that twatwaffling-thunder-cunt what a shit friend she is?" Well, my pretties... God doesn't like ugly. He also doesn't like when religious fanatics interpret bits and pieces of the Bible to fit their current scenario. Yeah...how you like them apples? <----intentional Adam and Eve pun in case you fuckers missed it. Another reason you don't tell said-person what a piece of shit they are is this; don't drink poison and wait for your foe to die. When people carry stress, anger, grudges, etc... they are hurting themselves and then asking said-person, "yeah, how does it feel??". Uhh, hello dumbass, they feel just fucking fine and maybe even MORE justified in their shit-behavior due to your showing your entire ass. *inserts jackass noises here* 

 

My point in all of my late-night word vomit OTHER THAN defining twatwaffle to some of you is this: you have one life to live in this fucked up place we call home. Only surround yourself with people that have a positive influence on you. Don't hold onto grudges; they are like a sack of rocks tied around your neck continually dragging you down. Let it go, cut the fucking rope. Treat people how you would want to be treated...better yet, treat them how you would want your mother or grandmother treated. Some of us are some self-loathing fucks and don't care how we are treated. But that's another blog post for another day. Just be a decent fucking person, regardless if you have an audience or not. That, my pretties, is called integrity. Let me know if you need me to define that one to you as well. I'm sure I'll find some kind of colorful definition to pacify all of y'all. 

 

Now, while I'm still wide awake at what I can only guess is a stomach bug, it's time for y'all to close your eyes and dream sweet. Tomorrow will bring a new day and another opportunity for us to get it right.   

The Important Things

Jody and I were married on October 26th, 2002.

By that time, we not only had full custody of Hunter but I was also pregnant. To say that things moved quickly in our marriage is an understatement. There was a time in 2006 when Jody and I were ridiculously bull-headed and rather than work through it, we took the "supposed" easy route and divorced. He got an apartment in Tallahassee and we put our home up for sale. During the rather brief time we were divorced, there wasn't a day that went by that we didn't talk or see each other. Right before Christmas, I took his original wedding band and had it engraved simply with, "Marry Me Again?". He said yes and we were re-married in early 2007.

Earlier today, Jody tagged me in a Huffington Post titled, "12 Lessons Learned in 12 years of Marriage. I can't encourage every one of you to take the time out of your day to read it here.

The bottom line is this: cherish your spouse. Never become complacent. Never become nothing more than roommates. Remember the reasons you fell in love in the first place.

2014 in Reflection

2014... What can I say other than it couldn't have ended fast enough.

It would be easy for me to say 2014 was all bad, but, it wasn't. Nothing in life is 100%. Saying something is "always" or "never" something or another is not only inaccurate but makes you a drama llama. Nobody likes a drama llama.

Rather than making a list of resolutions that I know I'll fail or won't follow through with, I'd rather take a moment to take stock in life as of today. My kids are healthy, I have a roof over my head, food in the pantry and a husband that still loves me.

I could rattle on about my declining health, losing my job, feeling that I'm not pulling my weight around the house, and feeling otherwise, not enough.

But, it can't rain all the time. Everything has its own silver lining, thin as it might be, it's there.

With the loss of my job, I was given the opportunity to put the focus back on my photography. While I don't have the client base to depend on this as a consistent form of income, I've had the opportunity to meet some pretty amazing people along the way.

Our family took a vacation to the mountains and in those few days, we focused on the precious time spent together and left our worries at home. Even though I'm pretty sure we spent the majority of the time in the truck, we were happy.

As I navigate through 2015, I'll remind myself daily what's really important. I'll strive to find a new job. I'll remind my family how much they mean to me. I'll reassure my husband daily that he is my rock, my love, my best friend. I'll take better care of myself, physically and mentally. I'll stay in touch with my friends. Last but not least, I'll forgive myself for my shortcomings and strive to be a better human being.

Life moves pretty fast and none of us are promised tomorrow. Cherish the time you have and the people you hold close to your heart.

1,500 Miles, Five States, Two Hotel Rooms and One Kickass Cabin

While we aren't the Griswalds, we damn sure are the Quicks!

It takes a certain skill-set to be a Quick. For instance, a tough skin is mandatory. One must also be skilled in the fine art of sarcasm and not be a puss when you are the topic of said-sarcasm. An iron gut is helpful while not exactly mandatory at this time. 

While the Quick Clan is far from ordinary, I personally, wouldn't have it any other way. We are fiercely protective over each other no matter how much in-fighting happens between the two younger Quicks. You cross one of us and the rest are likely to take out your knees and make it look like an accident.

Some might associate our resilience with the 13 years of ups and downs we've endured. Whatever the reason, our family is ironclad. And I pity the fool who thinks even for a moment that we are any less.

In our 13 years as a family this would be the third family vacation we've taken. The first was a trip out to Tucson, Arizona to see my dad. This marked the very first time Jody, Hunter and Hailey had ever been on a plane. Hunter took it in stride, holding Jody's hand while Jody had a full blown panic attack. Hailey was oblivious to the entire ordeal and was only concerned with her next bottle and a dry diaper. Granted, she was only six months old at that time and is just a wee bit more high strung these days.

Our second family vacation was a cruise a few years back. I can't say much about it other than in the event we ever DO cruise again, it won't be with Carnival and we WILL plan our excursions ahead of time.

And now we come to the part where I recap our 2014 Thanksgiving vacation. It started with a Thanksgiving meal prepared almost solely by our nephew, Justin. We ate until we were ready to burst and spent some much needed time with Jody's mom, Ann. 

Ann is by far one of the strongest women I've ever encountered. She not only raised her three children by herself but to this day, continues to raise three of her grandchildren. Ann has always done for others before herself. She has a beautiful heart and if my children don't learn anything else from their Nanny, I hope they learn her selflessness.

After spending time at Jody's mom's house, we hit the road once again heading north. The weather was just right for snow giving the kids the opportunity to not only see it snow but also play in it in the hotel parking lot. We woke up Friday morning and made the remaining bit of the drive up to Gatlinburg, TN. The kids and I rode the space needle all the way to the top giving us an incredible view of the city and mountains in the distance. In case y'all didn't know, Jody doesn't do heights. At all. The space needle left Hunter a little green so it was just Hailey and I for the sky lift. This thing was just like a snow lift but without the whole skiing back down the mountain part. We swung our feet, took a crap-ton of selfies and otherwise just enjoyed the ride. We bought Jody a bear hat because he is, in fact, Papa Bear for those of you who didn't know. Hailey picked a wolf hat because she knows all about rockin' the wolf on her noggin. Hunter went with some black contacts that he later damn near put his eyes out trying to get them in... 

Once our sightseeing was over, we had to find lodging for the evening. And a hotel wouldn't do. It's been on not only mine but also Jody's bucket list to stay in a mountain cabin. As luck would have it, a lady canceled the last day of her reservation leaving the cabin all ours. Now, when I say we stayed in a cabin, this is an understatement. It had a fireplace, pool table, hot tub and some of the most beautiful hardwood floors of all time. And did I mention it was for sale? And that Jody can retire in four years?

On our way home (no, not home quite yet hence any typos you might come across) we drove through The Great Smokey Mountains State Park. Please keep in mind that whole Jody scared of heights part. The road was incredibly narrow, the beginning was crazy steep bringing us close to 5,000 feet above sea level. The roads were also icy and a LOT of snow. While the kids and I enjoyed the views, Jody was white knuckled and for lack of a better term puckered to the max. The kids were in shorts but didn't waste the opportunity to pelt each other with snowballs and Hailey even made her very first snow angel.

The bottom line, this family trip has beat out all of the others. Oh and we will definitely be back to stay in one of those cabins again. Believe that. Papa Bear promised the kids snow and per usual, he delivered!

Sometimes An Ugly Cry Is All You Need..

... and other times, it's not nearly enough.

As everyone is now aware, one of my oldest and dearest friends lost her husband in the line of duty yesterday. Tears were shed, condolences given, and endless amounts of food delivered.. For all of those things, I know Erika is thankful. But none of this will bring her husband back to her.

The Leon County Sheriff's Office has embraced Erika making sure all of her needs are met and questions answered. Again, none of this will bring Chris back.

Complete strangers have reached out, changing their Facebook profile pictures to a Leon County Sheriff's Office badge adorned with a black ribbon. The public's show of support won't bring my beautifully resilient friend's husband home to her and their children.

December 5th would have marked their 5 year wedding anniversary. My beautiful friend had finally met her match. Someone who had no problem taking her down a notch but also loved her with his entire being.

It's times like these that ugly crying IS, in fact, socially accepted. Let your loved ones know your heart. Hold your children close. Mend those bridges that need mending. Put ridiculous indifferences aside because one thing is for sure, no one is promised tomorrow.

Blog Song: Skylar Grey - Coming Home Pt II

Maiden Voyage and Other Opening Prolific Statements

While I've been planning this post for what seems like months, okay... it's been months. *inserts massive shame face here* I'm finally here. Finally in an appropriate forum for what could be, in some instances, my highly inappropriate opinion on varying topics. Said-topics could range from people's horrid choice in apparel whilst gracing the doors of Walmart to my otherwise outspoken stance on the nation's current events. Hell, I might even post about the day to day fuckery that goes on under my own roof because that in itself proves to be ridiculously entertaining once the dust settles and the ugly crying is dried up..

It seems as though we live and work in a day and age to where every move we make is scrutinized, open to a public records request or heaven forbid, frowned upon by our highly judgmental peers that neither pay our bills or contribute any real meaning to our day to day lives. So many times, we find ourselves moving through life making decisions based solely on what we fear others will think of said-decisions and their outcomes. Well, you wanna know what? FUCK THAT NOISE! Yeah, I said it.. For some of you, this would be the opportunity you were waiting for to high-tail it out of here and stop reading immediately and I dunno...get back to Candy Crush or Pinterest or maybe for some of you dirty birds, tumblr and pornhub. Yeah...didn't think I knew about that, did you?

Back to business, yes...prolific statements. While the majority of the time, this blog will be my sounding board and a means for me to not go completely bat shit crazy, I will, from time to time, ask some of the people near and dear to my heart, to be a guest blogger. I've never been one to label or jam anyone into a box and I'm certainly not going to start with my guest bloggers. This is just as much their sounding board as it is mine. Maybe they had a bad day? Maybe they are head over heels in love? Maybe they are doing everything they can just to make it through the day without falling to pieces? Whatever their circumstances, this blog will act as their safe haven to say pretty much whatever the fuck they want. And yes, we say fuck a LOT around here. All guests will be offered the option of anonymity, if they choose. That's the beauty of being grown and making our own decisions!