Friend:
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: "Who goes there? Friend or foe?"
Twatwaffle:
twatwaffle (twat-wah-full):
noun
1. An elitist; someone unaware of their own limitations and highly critical of others.
2. The idiot that gets on your last damn nerve. The person you know that
suffers from excessive verbal diarrhea. The one you want to smack in the
face with a pick-axe. The person who has done it all and done it better
than you.
3. Complete idiot that mere idiot, dumbass, or imbecile can not adequately
describe.; however, to earn the title of twatwaffle, one must also
attempt to assert authority/expertise where none is had, or use
power/authority when they are offended by things that most people find
humorous, and then use that authority to get the "offenders," in trouble
and the "offending material" removed.
There
are times in life when the definition gets muddied and isn't as black
and white as maybe it should be. Then there are times in life when one
'friend' is more vested in said-friendship than their counterpart. An
example, one party would walk through hell and high water for those that
they consider a friend. The other party of this example friendship
scenario isn't vested. And while they may say they are, when asked
point-blank, they come up short.
So
where does this leave the friend who has dedicated literally YEARS to
this friendship? Do they walk away whilst wiping the egg from their
face? Do they confront the other party? After all, they may feel as
though they deserve an explanation. The answer is this; you hold your
head high and your shoulders back and while you might want to buckle
from the weight of this defining moment, you don't. Because you're
better than that.
"But
what makes me better than telling that twatwaffling-thunder-cunt what a
shit friend she is?" Well, my pretties... God doesn't like ugly. He
also doesn't like when religious fanatics interpret bits and pieces of
the Bible to fit their current scenario. Yeah...how you like them
apples? <----intentional Adam and Eve pun in case you fuckers missed
it. Another reason you don't tell said-person what a piece of shit they
are is this; don't drink poison and wait for your foe to die. When
people carry stress, anger, grudges, etc... they are hurting themselves
and then asking said-person, "yeah, how does it feel??". Uhh, hello
dumbass, they feel just fucking fine and maybe even MORE justified in
their shit-behavior due to your showing your entire ass. *inserts
jackass noises here*
My
point in all of my late-night word vomit OTHER THAN defining twatwaffle
to some of you is this: you have one life to live in this fucked up
place we call home. Only surround yourself with people that have a
positive influence on you. Don't hold onto grudges; they are like a sack
of rocks tied around your neck continually dragging you down. Let it
go, cut the fucking rope. Treat people how you would want to be
treated...better yet, treat them how you would want your mother or
grandmother treated. Some of us are some self-loathing fucks and don't
care how we are treated. But that's another blog post for another day.
Just be a decent fucking person, regardless if you have an audience or
not. That, my pretties, is called integrity. Let me know if you need me
to define that one to you as well. I'm sure I'll find some kind of
colorful definition to pacify all of y'all.
Now,
while I'm still wide awake at what I can only guess is a stomach bug,
it's time for y'all to close your eyes and dream sweet. Tomorrow will
bring a new day and another opportunity for us to get it right.
